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| BEER HUNTER | 
Date Tue Dec 9 5:32:28 p.m. ET 2008
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| To get you in the holiday mood, here's the classic tale of The Stench, written 3 years ago. It's becoming a tradition to post it each year, the week of the Holiday Feast.. ENJOY! THE STENCH by Mister Suess, Dr Suess's brother who didn't get his doctrit in Rhyming 101. Every Douche down in Doucheville liked douching alot..but the STENCH who lived due south of Doucheville DID NOT! The Stench hated douching, from buying to squirting...now please don't ask why, we all know his crotch is hurting... It could be he hasn't been cleaning himself. It could be he's had triple gay sex with an elf.. But I think the reason most likely of all, is the Stench found his douchehole was not there at all. But whatever the reason, the elf or the rust, the Stench sat there stenching with a mound of Buttdust. Staring down from his mound with the sour stinky look, at the lights down in Doucheville, as the Stench's head shook. For he knew every Douche down in Doucheville below, was cleaning themselves whether it be rain, sleet or snow. "They're douching there daily", he snarled with a sneer. Tomorrow I stop this! I can't stand living here!" He sat there with Stench feet ice cold in the snow, wondering what to do to make the Douche's day blow. Then he thought up a plan that was quick as a flash, He could load up a slay with Space Cakes full of Hash! And take them to all of the Doucheville front porches, Throw in a few Bongs, in case a few light some torches, What an evil idea, I think it's a plan! The Stench put it in practice, How quick? As quick as he can! For he knew if he had the whole town half baked. It would wreek of the smoke, thats no joke, For Pete's Sake! "At least if they smell, they won't notice my stench!", Said the Stench to himself as he sat on his bench. So that night he snuck into the center of town, And he did it right quick without making a sound, He had, chronic and weed, and some shrooms from a rave, And some really good crack thats called, "RIDE A PHAT WAVE". The town would be stenched for sure the next morning, With pot smoke and crack pipe fumes stinking without warning. Now the Stench finished up, he was on his way out, When he heard a small cry, mixed in with a pout. He turned around fast and he saw a small kid. "Didn't think I woke anyone up", but apparently he did. Little Cindy Lou Poo with the stinky Coo Coo, Straight up asked the Stench, "What on Earth did you Do?" He looked at her nicely with his Stench eyes wide open, And told her the truth, that the whole town would be Dope'in. And he said, "Cindy Lou Poo, My sweet little tot, Why don't you and the Stench go in and smoke some more pot?" She accepted the invite for sure, you should know, And from there we don't know much, but I will tell you so. The next day the Stench was back up on his mound, He woke up early to hear that grand sound, He hoped that the whole town would stink of the smog, And it did, like a piece of shit on grandma's Yule Log. But the Douches weren't mad....in fact they were glad. They were sooo happy the Stench had come down like he had. And what happened next? Well in Doucheville they say, That the Stenches Douchehole opened up for the day! He came back into to town with a trumpet and bugle, That he found on EBAY after searching thru Google, He was welcomed back in, like a man from the moon, And he promised he would have more "goods" there real soon, The Stench's plan worked, the whole town was a mess, It stunk there, it's junk there, it sucks...I confess, But no Douche seems to care, 'bout the stench in the air, So a feast is in order, I hope you'll be there. Get here right now, no matter how long it takes, Because he ,himself , the Stench.... is serving Space Cakes. Merry Xmas |
| Pittsburgh Peckers |
Date Thu Dec 11 8:23:59 a.m. ET 2008
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| This is easily my favorite holiday tradition!!! |